The Many Forms of a Friendship

Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. You really can't compare one to the other. Being in college and far from home I have come to really value all the different sorts of friends and relationships I have with people. They all seem to pop into your life exactly when you need them. And though its painful, some drift away when its time to let go. At least for awhile. Here are some of my friendship categories:
-The "We-never-really-talk-but-I-know-we-are-still-best-friends" Friend: This one is to my darling Christina whom I met by being an extremely awkward 6th grader. She was so tall and I was so short and I could stop staring at her! Ever since then we were best friends. I kid you not, that is actually how we met. Christina had to break the awkward silence by complimenting my shirt. She is at UCLA and I am in Texas. The two of us are some of the few who ventured out of state among our group of friends. I think that shows our similar sense of adventure and search for freedom. Christina is one of the most involved people I know and we will go almost a month without talking and then we can Skype and pick up right where we left off. She has been a blessing since the day we met and I know we will still be getting Starbucks together when we are old and gray.
-The "All-of-the-sudden-we-are-best-friends" Friend: Sarah. Over this Spring Break we hung out pretty much every single day and bonded so much I have no idea how I handled life before having her. We were friends a few months ago but now its blossomed into something way more beautiful. It is so exciting to watch friendships grow and change. Sarah and I met through a friend and we hung out a lot all last summer but never hung out much one on one. Sarah is a lover like me and she always makes me feel so happy and loved when I am feeling completely insignificant. She is the one I can really talk to when I am upset.
-The "Okay-only-those-two-girls-dont-make-me-want-to-cut-my-ears-off" Friends: Amanda and Emily! Met them somewhat by chance at a restaurant with some mutual"friends." Shortly after that night I realized I didn't really like any of my friends except those two girls I met at that Mexican restaurant. Basically Amanda and Emily saved me. I love them to death and would probably be digging my own grave at Baylor if it wasn't for them. Okay maybe that is slightly dramatic but you get the idea. Amanda is insane, weird, and excentric and never afraid to be her loud crazy self. Emily is quiter but still completely weird and quirky and full of surprises. They are such a blessing and always a reminder that there is some reason I am at Baylor.
-The "Are-you-two-dating?" Friend: Oh Matt. We met in 8th grade because he sat in front of me in Geography and signed his name on the Birthday calendar on the same day as me. After we straightened out the fact that he is indeed one hour older than me, we began passing notes all the time. I would definitely consider Matt my first, best guy friend who I really could tell anything to and that hasn't changed. Though he is way up north in Minnesota, we skype all the time. He is always there for me and I know he always will be. Hes probably the only guy who can say "You're so CUUUAAAATTTTEEEE when I have puffy eyes and snot running down my face and get away with it without receiving a slap in the face."
-The "Spontaneous-facebook-chat" Friend: Alex. He was a friend of one of my ex's and now neither of us talk to him but we talk to eachother a lot! This friendship is in its begining stages but he makes me laugh, we have a lot in common, and reminds me of home. I know we will hang out this summer though when I am home now that he sees me as a friend and not his ex-friend's ex.
-The "Oh-my-goodness!-you-are-from-Minnesota-too??!" Friend: Sean. Automaticaly felt the need to be his friend when I met him in boxing class because he understood where I was from. He knew the same culture, lifestyle, and quirky Minnesota things I did. And I thought maybe he would agree with me that Texas is a little weird compared to home. Having someone understand where you are from is a big step in understanding the person. I felt kinda like he already knew me once he knew I was from Minnesota and turns out I was right. He is a good friend who isn't afraid to be honest with me which I like a lot.
-The "Can-we-finally-be-'friends'?" Friend: Jae. My small group leader since 7th grade. She has been my leader at church for a long time and me and my friends would always ask her when we could be real friends. She finally told us that when we graduated the Senior High program we could be "friend friends." Now she is not only a mentor but a friend to me. She reminds me to pray and read my Bible but she also is a complete fool and can eat a horrendous amount of 0reos, hummus, vegetables, chips, and salsa with me while watching "Fairy Hollow."

Of course this isn't everyone but its a start. I was just thinking today how interesting friendships are. How once you begin a new one you never know where it will lead. That friend could introduce you to your best friend, boyfriend, or someone else you need. And as some friends go you keep the connections you made through that person. Its a comforting way of knowing that nothing was ever lost.

Runaway

I always considered myself an adventurous girl. Despite the total girly girl I am, I love mud and climbing things and getting in to a little bit of trouble and discovering new places. When it came time to choose where to go to college I was positive it was time for a new adventure. One far far away from the Minnesota borders.
College in Texas has not been what I expected. Though to be honest, I have no idea what I expected. I decided to go to Baylor on some vague gut feeling. I don't regret that decision but I think I should have looked at my options better.
Sometimes having an adventure doesn't mean running away from everyone you love and trying to make it "on your own." Sometimes an adventure is finding out you love science when you thought you hated it, sometimes its trying a new food, or sometimes and my favorite time it means falling in love. I will always wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in Minnesota and gone to the U of M, but I have learned some valuable things from my decision to go to Baylor.
Your real friends will never leave you. I have kept in touch with all of my best friends. Skype is a life saver. The people you skype with at 1am with tears streaming down your face are your real best friends.
I discovered my high school romance is much more than that. I'm terrified but I am totally in love. I don't know why I am here spending four long years away from him. Nobody else will ever make me smile like he does.
My family is everything. Without their love and support I would be so lost. I know they just want me to be where I will be happy and successful. I just haven't figured out where that is yet. I am happier at Baylor than I have been but I wouldn't say I'm happy. Thats an annoying feeling to deal with and decide upon.
I don't know why I ran away. My senior year and summer after were the best days of my life. I want to be back with the people I love and who love me. But I also want to be independent and do this whole college thing on my own somewhere. I just have to pray and find what place is right for me.
But how can we really ever be sure? I thought Baylor was right. Maybe it was right but is it right for four years? A year and a half? Two years? Who knows...
I'm sick of being a runaway. Lately, I just want to come home.

My Grandpa

I never knew my biological grandfather on my mother's side. Fortunately I gained the greatest grandpa I could have hoped for when my Mammaw married an amazing man named Onis. He is one of the sweetest men I have ever known and will be sorely missed. I got a call from my father this afternoon saying Onis had passed away less than an hour ago. I was in complete shock. Hearing a loved one is gone when there is no family around you to support you is completely disorienting.
Onis is the grandfather I have known the longest. My grandfather on my dad's side died when I was only six. Onis meant something special to me. He was the grandfather who really got to see me grow up. He got to see me grow from six to 19. He would sit me in his lap and always tell me how much he loved this family. How our family opened up to him and loved him freely. I don't see how anyone could not love such a sweet man.
Onis loved the Lord with all of his heart. He would cite scripture from memory all the time. He would close his eyes in prayer while just sitting in his chair, shutting out everyone else in the living room. The last few times I saw him I heard him whisper "Take me home, Lord." It was horrible and heart-wrenching to me then, but now I realize he wasn't afraid of death. He knew where his real home was and he was ready to go and be with his Lord.
I remember visiting him once when I was around 15. I was going through some not so happy times of my life then and I remember him just telling me how special and wonderful I am over and over again. Perhaps he saw through my angsty, new teenager facade and knew I needed a little love. It might not seem like much but he was the only grandpa who has ever said something like that to me at a time when I needed it most.
For the past few years him and my Mamaw have lived in an assisted living center. The last few years we have visited have been more difficult. Onis was 101 when he died. He lived a long, good life and we knew this time was coming. I will never forget him playing his harmonica or telling stories I have heard a million times over. His hugs and kisses especially will always be my comfort. I still can hear him saying to me "You're a sweet girl, darlin." And some days knowing that is all you need.